The First blog

To start at the beginning would just be fateful but everything and everybody has to start somewhere. Each day we have people taking new beginnings and putting something or in some cases someone to rest.

For me today is one of those in between days were nothing seems to make complete sense but yet I am moving in some kind of direction. Does that make sense to you? Recently I seem to just be digging some wholes for myself and just when I think that the cement has dried some idiot comes along and helps me reopen the holes. Saying that I know that is seems a bit vague but as I go on I think that the mystery will reveal itself. The worst part of it all is that i would love to just come out straight and say exactly what it is that is bothering me but if I did that I actually think that I would just be excavating even bigger problems that have been laid to rest.

I was watching the cricket yesterday and was just thinking as South Africa kick some but how each of us end up going into different routes. I was also thinking what makes us choose the way that we do and given the opportunity would we actually change our minds from our initial choice. I think that with out a doubt I would but then on that exact same note I’m plagued by the thought that if I did change just one single thing that I have done how would my life turn out tomorrow and would it be better or would it be worse? I guess that this is more of a soul question and would have to be one of those moments where one has to look down deep at who you are. I’m not sure if I am actually opening up a can of worms though because maybe asking these questions or thinking those thoughts would actually mean that I already know the answers. So then the real question would be does that make me a good or a bad person?

I mean I would like to think that I am a good person but then so would the whole world. Does anyone ever sit there and think to themselves hey I am a bad person let me change or do we all just do an injustice to ourselves and people that we come across in life and the n just shrug it off as oh well at least it wasn’t me on the receiving side...

I guess the only way to truly know would to be to put things into perspective and provide for a confused future or chance and luck. I would rather live in a more stable world but how can things be stable when we have people killing one another for "black gold" and I think worse even people killing somebody else for R10.00!

At the end of the day I suppose that the real question or maybe rather the real test would be - can you go to bed every night and know that you will be able to look yourself in the mirror the next day and be able to know - I am a good person?!